12 Top Lessons from our Granny Jones

A friend asked me, at my mother’s wake on the 4th of May, 2013, what the one most important value that I learned from my mother. I told him that it was courage.

I then thought about the other lessons that she brought to us, and here they are. Please feel free to share them!

Granny Jones’ 12 top tips for living life to its fullest!Jean Moore - Mom - Family Photo Web size

In loving memory of Jean Frances Moore – 1926 – 2013 (Also affectionately known as, Granny Jones.)

1)      Be courageous. Never ever give up, no matter what the circumstances.

2)      Never stop singing and dancing – live life to the fullest!

3)      Always love yourself – because you are No.1! And don’t let anyone tell you different.

4)      Always do more than you are paid for.

5)      Always be there for your family.

6)      Have integrity – stand firm against corrupt people and companies.

7)      There is always another way. Do not be disillusioned when your path is blocked – you will find a solution.

8)      There is always time for laughter, a smile and a naughty joke!

9)      Don’t let your age be an excuse. Dye your hair and live like it is your natural colour!

10)  Energy, enthusiasm and action are all you will need to succeed.

11)  You don’t need a car, money and resources to build a great business and an excellent life. Go for it!

12)  Leave your legacy. If you have a dream, don’t wait, do it now!

Thanks tons for the memories, mom!

Brian

 

Workplace Bullying. “Work Shouldn’t Hurt – ontheMARC.org”

Work Shouldn’t Hurt – ontheMARC.org.

The Celebrating Humanity Team Conflict resolution programs, remove workplace bullying, by placing the power for managing relationships safely and firmly in the hands of all team members – after developing the skills set necessary to do so.

Here is part of and article about bullying – which also list the many types of workplace bullying. Have you experienced bullying? Which type was/ is it?

“We’re all fed up with the reported incidents of bullying that have been dominating the headlines lately. And we have every right to be.

I just hope that we’ve reserved a portion of our dismay for the workplace bullies who may lurk in our midst wreaking havoc on folks in the next cubicle, lab or conference room, or yelling, screaming and cussing on the other end of the phone, or from another culture. And well we should because bullying is anathema to who we say we are from the duality of respectful and ethical behavior. 

Still not convinced?

Well if money is primarily what motivates you, think about this for a second: According to report after report, workplace bullying can cost a Fortune 500 company millions of dollars annually. In short, workplace bullying can take money out of your pocket.

Wait now, did some of you say, “Hey Howard, here you go blowing smoke again. Bullying doesn’t happen around here because I don’t see it. And besides, nobody’s brought it to my attention, so this is a non-issue.” Well, there are two problems with that mode of thinking. Problem one is that modern “practitioners” of workplace bullying have gotten slicker and subtler with how they operate and have fine-tuned the art of “kissing up and kicking down.” So you may not witness it. The second problem is that more often than not, many targets of workplace bullying just keep their mouths shut and grin and bear it, even more so during such tough economic times when the job market is so tight. So it can and does happen.

A universal definition of workplace bullying does not exist. But here’s the definition I’ve used over the years: Intentional workplace bullying is a pattern of unwelcome (overt and subtle) behaviors on the part of an individual whose actions are aimed at controlling the target of the behavior. The effect is psychological harm thereby hampering the target’s ability to perform his or her job.

In his seminal work, Bully in Sight; How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullying, the late Tim Fields says that workplace bullying is triggered when “one person, typically (but not necessarily) in a position of power, authority, responsibility, management, etc. feels threatened by another person, usually (but not always) a subordinate who has the qualities of ability, popularity, knowledge, skill, success, etc.”

The image of the “schoolyard bully” who engages in verbal threats and physical intimidation is the one that’s naturally conjured up when people think about bullying, an image that’s been hyped in the news media. There are, however, many more subtle and insidious ways to bully others. The worst bullies are those passive-aggressive individuals, usually colleagues, who find subtle ways to bend others to their will. Workplace bullying raises its head in a variety of ways, among them, according to Tim Fields:

  •     Pressure bullying or unwitting bullying is where the stress of the moment causes behavior to deteriorate; the person becomes short-tempered, irritable and may shout or swear at others. Many do this from time to time, but when the pressure is removed, the behavior returns to normal, the person recognizes the inappropriateness of their behavior and makes amends.
  •     Institutional bullying arises when bullying becomes entrenched and accepted as part of the culture. The threat of “agree to this or else,” and increasing workloads as “pay back” are typical manifestations of this form of bullying.
  •     Economic bullying is an offshoot of institutional bullying characterized by “you better be glad you have a job during these tough economic times.”
  •     Client bullying is where employees are bullied by those they serve, e.g. staff are bullied by customers. Often the client is claiming their perceived right (e.g. to better service) in an abusive, derogatory manner.
  •     Serial bullying is where the source of all dysfunction can be traced to one individual, who picks on one employee after another.
  •    
  • Secondary bullying is mostly unwitting bullying, which people start exhibiting when there’s a serial bully in the department. The pressure of dealing with a divisive serial bully causes everyone’s productivity to decline.
  •     Gang bullying is a serial bully with colleagues. Gangs can occur anywhere but flourish in corporate climates. If the bully is an extrovert, he or she is likely to be leading from the front; they may also be a shouter and a screamer, and thus easily identifiable. If the bully is an introvert, that person will be in the background initiating the mayhem but probably not taking an active part. Introvert bullies are the most dangerous types.
  •     Vicarious bullying is where two parties are encouraged to engage in adversarial conflict. One party becomes the bully’s instrument of harassment and is deceived and manipulated into bullying the other party. An example of vicarious bullying is where the serial bully creates conflict between employer and employee, participating occasionally to stoke the conflict, but rarely taking an active part in the conflict himself.
  •     Regulation bullying is where a serial bully forces their target to comply with rules, regulations or procedures regardless of their appropriateness, applicability or necessity.
  •     Cyber bullying is the misuse of e-mail systems or the Internet for sending aggressive messages.”

http://onthemarc.org/blogs/22/184#.UYNLF8qtZmM

Video Testimonial. How a workplace conflict program helped me to build my family relationships

Celebrating Humanity International has run two Team Unity programs (Workplace Conflict Resolution) with a Swaziland City Council, over the past 14 months..

In this video testimonial, Benito Jones describes where he was as a family man, and the changes that he has made in his life as a direct result of the Celebrating Humanity Team Conflict Resolution programme.

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My personal change – since the Celebrating Humanity Team Unity program by Benito Jones

29 April, 2013. Ghost Mountain Inn – Mkuze, South Africa.

Transcript of video testimonial by Benito Jones

An un-rehearsed interview with Benito Jones, a City Councillor in Mbabane Swaziland. We had the fortune to facilitate two Celebrating Humanity Team Unity (Conflict Resolution) sessions, with the council. One in March 2013 and another – with the newly elected Council – in April 2013. Benito was at both.

Halfway through the second program, Benito shared the life changes – that he put into effect because of lessons he took from the initial program.

Here is a transcript of this video, which is one of three- by Benito.

Interviewer: Brian Moore.
Great. Benny, you shared with us during the Mbabane City Council Team Unity program, how the program helped you to change your relationship with your family. And you were telling me what happened when you got home, to your family, prior to the (initial) program.

Benito:
Prior to the program, I can honestly say that I wasn’t a capable father, in executing my duties as a parent – but … I used to shout at my children. I never understood my children better… before the program.

But after the program, I actually got to understand that there are no limits to being a parent. You need to give your children what is “worth” to them, as a parent.

But before, it was totally different. I had no time.

There were times when I came back from work. When they heard my car, coming into the yard, they run into their rooms, that the “monster” had come home.

But since, after, the program, everything has changed. Now we are more of a family, or more of friends, than we were before.

After the program – for once – after almost 10 years of marriage, I had a vacation with my family. Because they were able to trust me, that I won’t get upset and leave them wherever I had taken them on that particular day – something the children never did before.  Because they knew that we would go out to a particular restaurant, one teeny-weeny thing would upset me and I would leave them there. They would have to find their own way home.

So we had no bond. We had no trust with them. Up and ‘till I got into this progam which helped me a great deal. And when my wife heard that I am attending the same course, again – and for the second time – she was so elated that she asked me:-  What are you people feeding me, that is keeping me so calm? Which I never was before!

The objective that I was, was that it was always my way, or nothing else. But now I am able to listen to her, as well. For once, I am able to do as she wants me to do. We are able to coordinate issues as a family, as opposed to being “ordered.”

Now I am able to take orders, ‘though I don’t perceive them as orders, because we now live as a family.

So it had such a dramatic effect on my personal life and my family life…

Break

I want to thank you for such an opportunity and such an exposure. And I hope it can go a long way in helping other people, not only personally, I mean, not only professionally – but even personally, as well. And that they can take this into their homes and into their relationships. And into their working environments.

Because  you find that if you are upset at work, then you take this thing, into your home. If you are upset at home, you cannot perform properly at work, because you are still fighting with your wife. That she didn’t iron your shirt properly, or that she was late for work. Therefore you were late for work, and so you had to take her with you..

So, it is quite and eye-opener of a program which I hope that God will bestow the power to you and help other people, as well, that have the opportunity and the courage to face problems. – as well as the will to succeed. Because if you have the will to succeed – these are such programs that you should attend.

Because they give you the character and strength to face another day. Because sometimes you sleep and you have no reason to live, but if you attend such programs they give you the will and vigour to wake up another morning – with a smile on your face, to face another day with hope and faith that this is the day!

Brian Moore

Thanks my friend. Awesome.

Team Building for Diverse Teams – A video testimonial.

Arthie and I are very fortunate to be able to work with people in a number of countries around the World. One of them is Swaziland.

In March 2013 – our client, in Hippo Hollow – Mpumalanga, South Africa was the Mbabane City Council – who needed to sustainability reduce conflict and improve relationships in the management and political team.

One of the delegates was Benito Jones, a passionate and very powerful person. Little did we know of the deep personal impact our Celebrating Humanity program has had on him, until we met again at a similar program for the newly elected councillors – on 28-29 April, 2013..

In this testimonial video Benito talks of where his family relationships were before the program and what has changed for him over the past year.

In another video Benito also ascribes his re-election to the changes that he has made in his life, since the Celebrating Humanity Program.

We wish him, his family and constituency well on their journey and look forward to more interaction with this awesome team.

Please contact us on brian@brianvmoore.com or call +27 79 643 4457, should you need any more information.

You can find the video – here.