Leadership vs Management – by Arthie Moore

Leadership Coach

Arthie Moore

This is an beautifully conceived and written article by Arthie Moore! The next article will be under her own name!

We need a fresh perspective on a subject that seems to evolve constantly, so my take is this. The beauty of Leadership is that you do not have to know everything!

What I really love about the concept of Leadership is that we are constantly growing, learning, evolving and changing with the times. There is no set style of Leadership that appeals to any one person. As we listen to the various great minds on the subject of leadership, our own minds take it all in and we adjust our behaviours to suit the teams we decide to experiment on.

We wait, watch with bated breath and when our teams survive our onslaught of new ideas, we continue forward. You see, I believe that Leadership is all about behaviour. It is a changing of the mindset of our daily behaviours to get different results from the people around us.

With the adjusting of our behaviours, we create expectations. We create an environment that is conducive to empowering, inspiring, motivating, enlightening and kicking our teams into a higher gear to achieve a higher goal or bigger vision.

Listening to Paul Martinelli speaking at a Live Event in Florida, made a huge difference to my thinking in an instant. He said, “If you want to change what is going on outside, you must first change the inside.”

Now that is what I am talking about. A good leader will constantly change his/her mindset to get greater results by changing themselves first. The example of good leadership as always will come back to how effective he/she is personally.

Are they good communicators? Are they understanding of the ever changing circumstances, environment, diversities, setbacks and personal issues in the work environment or are they stuck. See, being stuck means that the person is merely managing how the team works and pushes them to achieve deadlines, goals and visions of the company, in the same way that it has always been done.

Leadership means that the person of Influence, inspires the team to surpass their goals with excitement and pleasure and they enjoy pushing themselves! Teams will look to their Leader for guidance, support and advice because they know that the leader is there to help them as opposed to a Manager who generally tells, instructs and manages the outcomes, whilst putting out fires.

You see, the relationship between a leader and their teams comes back down to behaviour.

  • How influential is the person?
  • Do people trust, respect and honour their leader?
  • What is the attitude of the leader or manager?
  • How open minded is the person?
  • Do they invest in their people?
  • Are they constantly evolving with the times?
  • Are they inclusive, questioning, supportive, thoughtful and clear in their communication?
  • Do they seek potential amongst their teams and develop them?

There is a huge difference between leading and managing. In order to manage your teams properly, you need to lead them to greatness. It will always come back down to leadership. Managing other people’s behaviours is energy draining. It takes time to monitor and control the way people interact with each other, constantly looking over their shoulder telling them what to do.

When you lead however, people will listen. They will take your advice, question you to get clarity because you are open minded and non-judgemental, thoughtful in your approach, have a humble yet clear way of guiding them, will inspire them with your own actions and encourage self growth because you are not afraid to acknowledge that you are human too and do not know everything. But you will not be limited either.

A good leader is always restless.

  • Looking for new ideas, new ways to grow personally and grow their team.
  • The restless energy will create a environment of excitement that there is more to come and prevent everyone from stagnating.
  • That need to motivate people is gone because the positive energy permeating the whole work space is conducive to self empowerment, self growth and self motivation.

A manager’s job – is to motivate, control and enforce a results orientated environment attached to performance management systems that is a killer to work with. A Leader will be supportive, guide their teams to becoming accountable and taking responsibility for their own results, helping to set high standards and achieve through a powerful output/achievement mentality.

There is a difference between a Positional and a Relational leader according to John Maxwell’s teachings. Now that is powerful! The insights that I personally gained from that statement really resonated with what I always believed about being a leader.

In simple terms..having a title does not make you a leader. Your ability to influence, inspire and gain respect from people around you is what makes you a leader. Your relationships with your team are a true reflection of your leadership abilities. Not your title. That is your position. What you do with that title to build the people around you, will put you leagues ahead of your counterparts.

Everyone deserves respect and to be acknowledged for their hard work that got them to that position. But your ability to influence, communicate and serve your team, will give you the staying power and effectiveness that you need to take your company to levels of greater excellence.

Innovation, flexibility, relationship building, values, respect, attitude, intentions, questioning way, communication skills and honouring the human being in each of your team members will prove you to a world class leader.

Know your people, not just about them!

  • Truly understand their own needs, dreams, wants and aspirations. Link that to your own vision.  Then work together to achieve it.
  • Be supportive.
  • Be innovative and keep up with technology and the times that are ever changing.
  • Adjust your own belief systems.
  • Empower, encourage and excite your people.
  • Ask questions and actually listen.
  • Network with your own people.
  • Celebrate all your victories.
  • Take ownership of your results and your people’s achievements.
  • Be willing to be afraid. Fear of the unknown is the biggest killer of potential.
  • Seek to find out what scotomas are holding you back from achieving greatness.

I wish you brilliance in your journey going forward, knowing that learning to lead is a lifelong process of growth. One that is hugely fulfilling to know that you have the ability to take the potential of your people and create more leaders. Knowing that your power to grow your own team is in your hands and that you never have to do it alone.

Leave a legacy of awesomeness!

Until the next time, take care and have fun!

Ms Arthie Moore




+27 (0) 72 439 4220



How to team build in a racially-culturally-and-personality-conflicted team – HR Pulse

Published on 15 Jan 2013 in HR PulseFor more articles relevant to the HR Community

Brian V Moore

In 2002, we were called in to Eskom by Bruce Moody, a high-level HR officer at Eskom. He said: “We have some heavy cultural clashes in a technical service centre in the Northern Province [now Limpopo].

Do you think that you can you do something to change the situation?”

“I am sure we can.” I responded. “What are the challenges?”

Bruce pondered for a while and said: “There are some heavy racial attitudes from all sides. In fact, I don’t really know why I am asking you! What are you, a white man and your Indian wife, going to do to make a difference? This is a bunch of tough hardliners. They have a long history of conflict and nothing that we have done has worked.

“Let’s get this clear: These are heavy workplace disputes!” said Bruce. “There is continuous backstabbing and gossiping. They complain that everything is wrong and nobody is to blame! They are totally unmotivated and their productivity is very low, which is resulting in poor customer service.”

Arthie, my wife and business partner, asked: “What do you think is causing this?”

Bruce gave Arthie a knowing look: “Well obviously there is very low morale among them because of the constant bickering. There is racism, prejudice, laziness, no ownership, no accountability and poor communication – and I mean REALLY poor!” He took a deep breath, shook his head, and continued: “This is a hugely conservative area where old attitudes die very hard. It could be the worst case that you could ever take on.”

I felt confident we could take on the challenge

We were almost overpowered by his statements, but I had no doubts. If I could work in areas, as a peacemaker, where bullets were flying, we could duck a few words.

“We can do this. When do you want us to start?” We were given two weeks to prepare.

We hit the ground running

We had to find ways to build relationships swiftly with groups of people who we had never before encountered in an area of the country where we had NO experience. We spent the time studying the history of the area, and the cultures and languages of the people in the team.

Arthie and I then put together the Celebrating Humanity Team Conflict Resolution programme for diverse teams. This fun, exciting, inclusive and enjoyable programme included celebrating diversity, diversity management, team building and a sustainable long-term team-managed code of conduct.

And so we set off to the town where the centre was located

As we drew closer to the centre, we passed a huge flock of vultures feeding on the carcass of a wild animal. I silently prayed that it was not an ominous sign!

When we arrived, Jan – the depot supervisor – greeted us. He then took us aside and pleaded: “You must just motivate them. They need it.” I looked at his stressed face and saw a man in pain. He was ready to explode. Another senior member of the team said: “If you guys mention racism, just once, we WILL walk out.”

We had to change the mood from the outset. We spent that night in the training room transforming the venue into one of celebration: Balloons, happy colours, hand-drawn posters and a very unique seating arrangement…

The next morning we found separated groups sitting together. They were grouped by colour, language and level. All in their own comfort zones. All spiritually, emotionally and physically apart. Some were obviously angry and others totally disinterested.

Then we began to help them to celebrate their humanity

Three days and 21 working hours later, the same people were sitting side by side at a family barbecue. Children played with children. Wives chatted to each other while the men cooked meat, spoke about cars, sport and laughed as they shared jokes.

They had experienced each other in a fun environment, shared wisdom, seen value in each other, worked as teams, cleared all of their past interpersonal baggage, committed to a code of positive behaviours and removing their negative actions from their lives.

15 months after the first intervention, Jan sent this feedback

“I had a group of 30 people from diverse cultures. They could not get on with each other:

There was continuous friction between the different race groups, and between people from the same race and cultural group. The people were negative and not satisfied with anything.

Complaints were the order of the day. This also placed our depot in a bad light with management.

We decided on Brian and Arthie’s training. The people were very negative about the programme initially.

As the course progressed, peoples’ attitudes changed from negative to positive.

Communication, respect and ownership improved from all sides by 100%. The respect between different race groups has been restored.

Some of the people who were negative have changed so much that they have been promoted to higher positions with greater responsibility.

The foundation of the entire course was so successful that the group is now going ahead with a leadership course.”

Now that was the change that we had been looking for!

via How to team build in a racially-culturally-and-personality-conflicted team – HR Pulse.

At the level of respect, all people are equal.

What I love most about internet-based forums is the way in which they bring so many diverse people, with differing experience and views together. What challenges me most is the way in which some people see the forums as a place to force their views and positions on others.Instead of increasing input and bringing in more knowledge seekers, it has the opposite effect of shutting down people who could bring new ideas, or great questions. This diminishes all of us.Any of us who have been in a training session will know that many people, fearful of embarrassment, or ridicule, will keep quiet. They only discuss issues where they feel safe.

“It is not the role of the experienced, or angry, to prevent the input or questions of the curious, the knowledgeable, or the inexperienced. It is their role to open the way for questioning, sharing and learning.” (Because of the diversity of  knowledge, tasks and fields – we all are inexperienced in certain areas and experienced in others. And that is ok.)
If we could all stick to the concept, “At the level of respect, all people are equal”, and communicate in a way that brings in more people, we will bring about a better World. If we disagree, let’s do it in a way that increases dialogue.To those of you who are a little nervous to bring your ideas and questions, please be welcome here.

Your input is as important as anyone else. And remember, “Anything that is said is merely the opinion of a person – no matter how experienced they are, or appear to be.” 
In meetings, encourage input from everyone. Make it safe for all to have their say. Quiet people are often the greatest observers. Without their view of the situation – you are half-blind.

Kind regards
17 June 2012


Request a Team Building, Diversity Training
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal –
on http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
or email: brian@africa-dreams.com
or call +27 79 643 4457

Video – Fun ways to resolve team conflict

Another team conflict resolution program by Celebrating Humanity

Request a Team Building, Diversity Training
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal -
on http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
or email: brian@africa-dreams.com
or call +27 79 643 4457

Celebrating Humanity – Team Conflict Resolution©

Celebrating Humanity – Team Conflict Resolution©
24 May 2011 – Brian V Moore

Celebrating Humanity International has over 20 years experience in diversity training, team building and team conflict resolution.

“Put people together in a way that will have them bouncing ideas off each other, befriending each other, and taking care of each other, and suddenly they are coming to you, not with gripes and problems, but with solutions and great ideas.”
- Richard Branson, in his book, Business Stripped Bare

The focus of this enjoyable, inclusive, participative, non-threatening and effective team unity building© programme is to develop professionalism, trust, motivation, understanding, communication, relationships, unity, accountability and respect within your client’s team.

From challenges – to unified and professional teams

The programme is a combination of diversity management, team building, leadership development, relationship building, communication skills development – ending with a solid long-term team agreement which guides the team to work together into the future. After the intervention all team members start afresh – with a clean slate – clear of all past challenges.

This is not a talk, a negotiation – or a traditional team building – this fun and exciting programme is an interactive, transformational and sustainable experience with wonderful lessons learnt and skills developed!

The Celebrating Humanity Mini Harvest© programme has 3 separate stages, with support and follow-up, to ensure long term success.
Team Conflict Resolution Process

Stage 1 – Initial 2 day programme.

EYE Opener Day 1

Designed to Celebrate the Humanity within your team and develop skills in an Exhilarating Learning© environment and thereby:
Create an environment of respect in the team.
Develop an understanding of communication styles and personalities and how to communicate with respect and effectiveness.
Develop an understanding of team members.
Develop interpersonal communication and respect
Create an environment of communication, solution-finding and praise.
Develop understanding of attitudes and their effect on relationships
Bring the team closer together as colleagues.

Values Circle – Day 2
Develops understanding of how the team should and should not behave and puts the team in charge of its own actions and behaviours.
1.The team creates and commits to a formalised peer-managed Code of Conduct, thereafter all team members clear past interpersonal challenges and commit to the team, and to manage their own actions.
The code of conduct ensures that all team members are committed to work together in a respectful way and commits the team to very brief monthly meetings to:
a.Praise and Honour those who deserve it.
b.Develop understanding
c.Give guidance to values breakers
d.Offer support to those with challenges and send those who will not be guided by the team and who break the agreed rules, for the normal company discipline processes.

Monthly meetings and follow-up +- 1 month after the initial programme.

Sets up the team to maintain the programme, through 1 hour 6 weekly meetings. The first meeting, 2 – 4 hours, is facilitated by a CHI lead facilitator, on site.

The team will receive:-
1.A fully explanatory copy of the Code of Conduct.
2.A copy of their signed commitment to the team.
3.An agenda for the management of the ongoing monthly meetings.
4.Photographs on CD or DVD.
5.Free access to telephonic or e-mail support.

Exhilarating Learning Methodologies

Exhilarating Learning© is non-threatening, effective, fun, lasting and unifying.
Exhilarating Learning© activates all of the human learning senses through group & team-focussed processes and exercises.
Learning is ensured through Inclusivity and the use of Intellectual, Visual, Audio & Kinesthetic sensors.
Inclusivity and Teamwork is ensured through Team reliance on each individuals’ Unique Talents, Skills and  Knowledge.
Knowledge and Understanding is developed though the Inclusivity processes.
Teamwork is developed through Group Achievement and the need for Total Participation of all delegates.
Mutual Respect is ensured through the Competition Points System.
Communication Awareness and Skills are developed practically.
Open Minds and Total Participation are ensured through the unique environment and processes.
Long-term Understanding is developed through introspection and the questioning environment.
Tools include the use of various languages, story-telling, music, video & competition.


“On behalf of Team US, from the U.S. Consulate General in Durban, I write to extend our appreciation for and unparalleled experience in cultural sensitisation and team-building!
The 2 day session made our diverse team stronger and more supportive of one another.  This (team building) was by far the most meaningful and effective in fostering good communication, mutual respect and a strong spirit of co operation amongst our multi-cultural staff. “
Jill Derderian – United States Consul General – Durban

“There were times when attitudes were so hard and fast that I thought it would be an impossible task to create teams within groups of people that we were working with but Brian and Arthie with incredible insight and genuine humanity were able to find the chink in the armour and break down barriers that had been built and protected for decades.
From those tenuous and fragile beginnings, many teams soared to great heights achieving outstanding results. I am forever indebted to their excellent work.”
- Sue Hall & Associates

Celebrating Humanity International
Diversity Management, Team Building and Team Conflict Resolution Specialists

079 643 4457/ 072 439 4220/ brian@africa-dreams.com


Request a Team Building, Diversity Training
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal –
on http://www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
or email: brian@africa-dreams.com
or call +27 79 643 4457

7 Steps to Resolving Team Conflict

The 7 Steps to Resolving Team Conflict – in the Celebrating Humanity© Way

From the book “Team Conflict Resolution Strategies – Fast and Effective ways to Remove and Reduce Stress in Teams”, by Brian V Moore.

Brian and Arthie Moore, of Celebrating Humanity International, have over 15 years experience in diversity management, transformational team building and team conflict resolution. 1000s of people have benefited and transformed through the Celebrating Humanity programme©, in South Africa, Namibia, Zambia and the USA.

1.   Step 1 – Know what you want to achieve, AND know where you and your team are, before you begin. “Begin with the end in mind” – Steven Covey. It is critical to know and record, what your challenges are at the outset of this amazing journey with your team/s. The team needs a joint vision of what they can achieve through unity, teamwork and harmony.

2.   Step 2 – Follow the 8 Principles of Team Conflict Resolution through the internationally proven Celebrating Humanity© methodology. Celebrating Humanity’s unique, transformational team building and conflict resolution techniques are founded in these 8 amazingly simple and stunningly effective principles.

         1. “At the level of respect, all people are equal.” – Brian V Moore – 2001.
         2. “No man is an island” (English Proverb.) “Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu” (Nguni Proverb)
         3. We are perfect as we are.
         4. Life rewards action. Positive and negative.  
         5. It is simply impossible for any person to manage the behaviour of other people.
         6. People will manage their own behaviour, if they set the ground rules themselves.
         7. “People know and help those who speak up – not those who remain silent.” Oshiwambo proverb – Namibia.

3.   Step 3 – Build unified Teamwork across the entire team, company/ organisation. Apply a transformational team building process that will bring harmony, understanding, emotional and social maturity, communication skills, respect, ownership and accountability to your conflicted teams.

4.   Step 4 – Set the Peer-created, Peer-accepted and Peer-managed Team Code of Conduct. When your team makes these decisions, and all team members commit to follow an agreed and constituted process – you are well on your way to a conflict-free team, company/ organisation. This reduces stress on management and clients.

5.   Step 5 – Clear past interpersonal challenges – and open the way forward. Your team will no longer be dogged by its own conflicted history, the path will be clear for powerful and exciting results and successes.

6.   Step 6 – Place your team firmly in charge of their own behaviour. It is at this point that your team members commit to themselves, the company/ organization and immediately begin to operate in a new and safe working environment.

7.   Step 7 – Maintain – the new conflict-free status quo.
Properly constituted and maintained team agreements which will last for as long as you desire, and your and the team maintain the status quo.

8.   What we do NOT do.

         1. We never focus on the “problems”, or the “problem people”. If there is conflict in your team, there is far more going on than you will ever realise. And any direct focus on the particular individuals will empower them and ruin the process.
         2. We do not have mediation sessions with the “problem people” to clear the problems. This will isolate all of your team members, and the challenges will emerge again, in another form altogether.
         3. We do not judge, or work out of our own judgments.
         4. We do not send the “problem people” off for emotional, or diversity training, and ignore the rest of the team.

“Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead.

Brian V Moore Website

Diversity Training in South Africa

Africa Dreams Website – Celebrating Humanity International

Celebrating Humanity Projects

Team Building in South Africa

Celebrating Humanity Blog

Celebrating Humanity on Facebook


Mobile: +27 (0)79 643 4457

Fax: +27 866 746 310



Brian Moore – Speaker

Brian V Moore, International Speaker and Facilitator Extraordinaire! Brian V Moore, international speaker and facilitator, is the  Managing Director of Celebrating Humanity International (formerly Mthimkhulu International.

He is a Zambian born South African , of Irish descent , brought up in Port Shepstone and adopted by a Zulu Tribe.

He speaks several languages fluently, including English, Zulu and Afrikaans. He currently greets in more than 60 other languages.He received a Community Builder Award from Archbishop Desmond Tutu for his contribution to bringing peace to the once troubled Dusi Canoe Marathon.

Brian is the key founder and co-creator of the Celebrating Humanity Diversity Training, Team Building and Team Conflict Resolution Programmes. His vision, focus and commitment toward Transformational Team Building has transformed lives across the board and instills a new sense of hope for all who attend his courses and presentations. Known traditionally as “Mthimkhulu, or Bhungane”, in the Zulu community, he has lived an incredibly full South African and African life – and is filled with passion for Africa and its peoples.

He is the author of an e-book, titled, “Team Conflict Resolution Strategies”, which is currently used locally and internationally i.e. USA, UK, Australia and South Africa. He has a great depth of knowledge and experience in business, customer care, conflict resolution, communication, cultures, diversity, relationships, traditions and traditional proverbs.

Brian was recently the guest speaker and Chairman of the World Learning Summit in Hong Kong in February 2009. He was also the Business Sponsor and Speaker at the Annual Diversity Conference held in London.

He has spoken and facilitated change with thousands of people in Zambia, Namibia, Swaziland, Hong Kong, Rhode Island – USA, Connecticut – USA and across South Africa.

Brian’s storytelling, ability to involve his audiences and his tremendously human touch will delight, wow and entice multi-diverse audiences to see diversity at a much different and deeper level.

Brian is willing and able to travel anywhere in the World, to enchant your people!

Experience the Magic!


Video – Diversity Training and Conflict Resolution

Here is an a short video of a 3 day – plus 1 day follow-up team building/ diversity training/ team conflict resolution – facilitated by Mthimkhulu International (Now Celebrating Humanity International – the Team Building in South Africa specialists.


Brian V Moore

Request a Team Building quotation, Diversity Training quotation
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal

“Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead.

Brian V Moore Website

Diversity Training in South Africa

Africa Dreams Website – Celebrating Humanity International

Celebrating Humanity Projects

Team Building in South Africa

Celebrating Humanity Blog

Celebrating Humanity on Facebook


Mobile: +27 (0)79 643 4457

Fax: +27 866 746 310

Ownership – Victor, or Victim

November 30, 2008

One of the most amazing things that I have observed, time and again, in our transformational team building programs – is how easily some people give away ownership for their lives. In so doing they destroy themselves, their relationships and groups that they belong to.

The deeply ingrained, Industrial revolution-linked, top-down management style prevalent in many families, companies and organizations, has left behind a bundle of non-performing victims. They do not take action for their own behavior and are constantly looking for reasons why things “just will not work.”

They are the perpetually unhappy, not-yet grown-up adults who constantly run to “mommy”, with their problems. Of course “mommy”, is either their manager, or some member of the team/ family or community who happens to listen to their stories.

In our more extensive Celebrating Humanity Harvest team-builds, teams set-up its own Values Circle. This is a peer-created and managed code of conduct – where the team determines what is acceptable and desired behavior within the team. And, as importantly, they decide which behaviors are undesirable and taboo. This invariably includes gossiping and backstabbing.

In these sessions there is a clearing, of all past inter-personal challenges. The team and its members are rewarded with an agreement, in which they are safe and accountable for their own behavior and for that of the members of their team. They are empowered to be in charge of their future interactions, as fully-functioning adults, working together in harmony. “Mommy” is no longer needed.

Case Study 1 – Still infiltrated by Victims

I met this team for our normal follow-up – 1 month after the initial team build, clearing and agreement session. And their case is not unusual.

Most of the team members had gained through the team building and found a marked difference in the way in which they, and the team related to each other. They commented in the following manner:-
“ I am feeling more comfortable with the care within the team. Previously no-one cared, and I felt it.”
“I really enjoyed understanding more about other cultures. I now know how to work differently with different people.”
“Understanding my communication style, and having the ability to assess other people, means that I now adjust my communication for each individual person.”
“When you know your personality type, and how it can affect others, you can change your behavior to get better results.”
“I am always monitoring my overbearing personality, to ensure that I grow my team without dominating them.”
“What I realised is that if I want respect, I must be respectful.”

The bulk of the members of the team had taken responsibility for their own behavior. One even owned up to gossiping, prior to the team building – saying that this had now stopped.

And yet there were a few strongly verbose people, of varying levels, within the room, who stated that “nothing had changed.” “There are still people not adhering to the agreements,” they said. These are the victims and they are very dangerous and will actively, or unconsciously, work to destabilise harmonious environments.

I was not surprised. These were the spectators, that will be found in any organization.


Spectators are observers and complainers – they wait for things to change. They do nothing positive to ensure that good things happen.

If all is going well, they cheer for their team. Sadly, when there are problems – they immediately complain to, or about “mommy. “They must do something about this.” Or, “This was just a waste of money, nothing changed.” Challenges have nothing to do with them.

These poor people simply have no power whatsoever, unless they are bringing something, or somebody, down. Unfortunately their ability to destroy is very strong in weak organizations, and divided families and teams. They will never have anything because they are victims. And victims will make sure that they do not allow others to succeed either.

7 Rules to work with victims.

1. Set behavior principles and behavior rules with the entire team/ family. List and decide on what you will and won’t do. Set the amount of transgressions, before action is taken. Ensure that all of you manage the agreements, fairly. No-one is above the rules and they must be applied at all times.
2. Involve them in finding solutions. Challenge them to look for answers.
3. Don’t listen to their negative stories, or gossip. When they are complaining, ask them what they are doing about it – or put them in front of the person with whom they “have a problem.” Then open their conversation with, “X has a problem, with something you have done. You should talk about it.” And move on.
4. Never agree with, or get involved in their negativity. Once they have you in the “inner circle”, you will find it very difficult to get out.
5. Praise them for what they do well.
6. Guide them on what they can do differently. Never attack them, as a person. Always talk about the actions that they can change to get better results in their lives.
7. Remember to focus on your team agreements and love the victims anyway. If the team/ family environment is sound, they will either adjust their own behavior and fit in, or find other places to be destructive. Let them go.

Case Study 2: Once victims and now victors

15 months after the first intervention, the supervisor sent this feedback, about where their team was before the transformational team build, what had happened during the Celebrating Humanity© program and their new workplace situation:

“I had a group of 30 people from diverse cultures. They could not get on with each other.
There was continuous friction between the different race groups, and between people from the same race and cultural group. The people were negative and were not satisfied with anything.
1. Complaints were the order of the day; this also placed our team in a bad light with management. We decided on the Celebrating Humanity© training. The
2. people were very negative about the program initially.
3. As the course progressed the people’s attitudes changed from negative to positive.
4. Communication, respect and ownership improved from all sides by 100%. The respect between different race groups has been restored.
5. Some of the people who were negative have changed so much that they have been promoted to higher positions with greater responsibility.
6. The foundation of the entire course was so successful that the group is now going ahead with a leadership course.”

This team decided that enough was enough and took a strong hold of the power of ownership. They decided that they would work together, irrespective of the disrespect that had consumed their team for years before.

This was their chance to enjoy work, be more professional and above all to work in a safe and respectful environment.

Is your team suffering as a result of inter-personal, inter-level, or inter-group conflict. Are personality or mis-communication stresses tearing your team apart?

On a more personal note, are you a victor or a victim. Do you look for the good, or are you focused on the bad? If it is the latter, there is noting out there for you but misery and blame. These are normally attached to personal loneliness, stress and disease.

Here are 10 things that you can do.

1. Work from the principle that “at the level of respect, all people are equal.” Treat people with respect and you will get respect.
2. Take ownership for your life – because the quality of your life, your happiness and your successes are dependent upon your own actions.
3. Focus on making a positive difference. You will find opportunities for great change where “things are just not right.”
4. Look for ways to respect your family and your team, in the way that they want to be respected.
5. Learn to listen more and complain less.
6. Ask people – “What can I do to help.” Or, “What can I do to make this work.”
7. Don’t let your problems poison the people around you. Talk to people about your challenges and resolve them, or move on.
8. Speak up when you see something good and speak up if you are unhappy/ or uncomfortable with another person’s actions, or unacceptable situations.
9. And here is the big thing, speak to the people who are the challenge, for you – or to people who are responsibility to make changes. Never speak to people who have no power to make any difference at all.
10. And if you come across a spectator – use the 7 rules to working with victims. You will make a difference – and it will be positive.

The good thing in formulating the right kinds of team agreements together, is that those teams that powerfully guard and keep to their agreements, will take absolute personal ownership for their future. They will make sure that they have a positive empowering environment – and they will make things work.

When this happens – the victims will either change their behavior, or look for another place to be unhappy. Either way, the team and its future is safe.

Enjoy life! You only get one chance!

Brian Moore
Author – Team Conflict Resolution Strategies.

Team Building in South Africa

We are really excited to announce the arrival of our Team Building in South Africa website!

This is our dedicated South African and African website.

We are really focused on making a difference in South Africa and with our new book

And with this new Team Building in South Africa website, we will be doing just that!

Please feel free to comment!