Workplace Bullying. “Work Shouldn’t Hurt – ontheMARC.org”

Work Shouldn’t Hurt – ontheMARC.org.

The Celebrating Humanity Team Conflict resolution programs, remove workplace bullying, by placing the power for managing relationships safely and firmly in the hands of all team members – after developing the skills set necessary to do so.

Here is part of and article about bullying – which also list the many types of workplace bullying. Have you experienced bullying? Which type was/ is it?

“We’re all fed up with the reported incidents of bullying that have been dominating the headlines lately. And we have every right to be.

I just hope that we’ve reserved a portion of our dismay for the workplace bullies who may lurk in our midst wreaking havoc on folks in the next cubicle, lab or conference room, or yelling, screaming and cussing on the other end of the phone, or from another culture. And well we should because bullying is anathema to who we say we are from the duality of respectful and ethical behavior. 

Still not convinced?

Well if money is primarily what motivates you, think about this for a second: According to report after report, workplace bullying can cost a Fortune 500 company millions of dollars annually. In short, workplace bullying can take money out of your pocket.

Wait now, did some of you say, “Hey Howard, here you go blowing smoke again. Bullying doesn’t happen around here because I don’t see it. And besides, nobody’s brought it to my attention, so this is a non-issue.” Well, there are two problems with that mode of thinking. Problem one is that modern “practitioners” of workplace bullying have gotten slicker and subtler with how they operate and have fine-tuned the art of “kissing up and kicking down.” So you may not witness it. The second problem is that more often than not, many targets of workplace bullying just keep their mouths shut and grin and bear it, even more so during such tough economic times when the job market is so tight. So it can and does happen.

A universal definition of workplace bullying does not exist. But here’s the definition I’ve used over the years: Intentional workplace bullying is a pattern of unwelcome (overt and subtle) behaviors on the part of an individual whose actions are aimed at controlling the target of the behavior. The effect is psychological harm thereby hampering the target’s ability to perform his or her job.

In his seminal work, Bully in Sight; How to Predict, Resist, Challenge and Combat Workplace Bullying, the late Tim Fields says that workplace bullying is triggered when “one person, typically (but not necessarily) in a position of power, authority, responsibility, management, etc. feels threatened by another person, usually (but not always) a subordinate who has the qualities of ability, popularity, knowledge, skill, success, etc.”

The image of the “schoolyard bully” who engages in verbal threats and physical intimidation is the one that’s naturally conjured up when people think about bullying, an image that’s been hyped in the news media. There are, however, many more subtle and insidious ways to bully others. The worst bullies are those passive-aggressive individuals, usually colleagues, who find subtle ways to bend others to their will. Workplace bullying raises its head in a variety of ways, among them, according to Tim Fields:

  •     Pressure bullying or unwitting bullying is where the stress of the moment causes behavior to deteriorate; the person becomes short-tempered, irritable and may shout or swear at others. Many do this from time to time, but when the pressure is removed, the behavior returns to normal, the person recognizes the inappropriateness of their behavior and makes amends.
  •     Institutional bullying arises when bullying becomes entrenched and accepted as part of the culture. The threat of “agree to this or else,” and increasing workloads as “pay back” are typical manifestations of this form of bullying.
  •     Economic bullying is an offshoot of institutional bullying characterized by “you better be glad you have a job during these tough economic times.”
  •     Client bullying is where employees are bullied by those they serve, e.g. staff are bullied by customers. Often the client is claiming their perceived right (e.g. to better service) in an abusive, derogatory manner.
  •     Serial bullying is where the source of all dysfunction can be traced to one individual, who picks on one employee after another.
  •    
  • Secondary bullying is mostly unwitting bullying, which people start exhibiting when there’s a serial bully in the department. The pressure of dealing with a divisive serial bully causes everyone’s productivity to decline.
  •     Gang bullying is a serial bully with colleagues. Gangs can occur anywhere but flourish in corporate climates. If the bully is an extrovert, he or she is likely to be leading from the front; they may also be a shouter and a screamer, and thus easily identifiable. If the bully is an introvert, that person will be in the background initiating the mayhem but probably not taking an active part. Introvert bullies are the most dangerous types.
  •     Vicarious bullying is where two parties are encouraged to engage in adversarial conflict. One party becomes the bully’s instrument of harassment and is deceived and manipulated into bullying the other party. An example of vicarious bullying is where the serial bully creates conflict between employer and employee, participating occasionally to stoke the conflict, but rarely taking an active part in the conflict himself.
  •     Regulation bullying is where a serial bully forces their target to comply with rules, regulations or procedures regardless of their appropriateness, applicability or necessity.
  •     Cyber bullying is the misuse of e-mail systems or the Internet for sending aggressive messages.”

http://onthemarc.org/blogs/22/184#.UYNLF8qtZmM

Better relationships? Talk straight, clearly and with respect.

As the lift descended the two Zulu ladies made their observations of my well-rounded figure…
“Hawu! We sisi! Uwubonile umkhaba? (Gee Sister have you noticed the stomach.)
“Yebo, ngiwubonile. Yinkinsela yempela – sengathi inemali eningi!” (Yes, I have noticed it. Clearly a wealthy person – I’d imagine he has plenty of money)
All this gossip happened in front of me, as they innocently watched the floor indicator panel. I bided my time and as the two ladies prepared to leave the lift, I spoke to them in Zulu. “Sobuye sibonane bomama.” (I will see you ladies around some time.)
“Hawu! Hawu!” They squealed in shock. “We didn’t know that you could speak Zulu!”
The event reminded me of similar events where people use their “superior” use of language to make negative observations of people.
Many years ago I used the services of a UK born dentist. I had an afternoon session with him. I had earlier washed my mouth out at a supermarket rest-room after eating a sandwich for lunch. It was not enough. He peered into my mouth and pronounced to his assistant, “It is a foggy day in Liverpool.”
In his English way he had said that I had not brushed my teeth. I was very embarrassed and he lost me as a client and a number of others who I spoke to about the event.
In a recent training course my beautiful Hindu wife and I were subjected to abuse from a small group of England born delegates. In loud and profane tones they proceeded to malign the “Indians” and their “ability to speak the truth”. This in the round about and sarcastic manner of certain English people. Very little is said directly.
We are however well travelled and understood perfectly. As facilitators we have to be fair, pleasant and respectful to all of our delegates. Any mention of their meanness would reduce the programme to a series of personal attacks. It took us both a lot of internal and interpersonal talk to get close to our normal warm level of communication.
At an earlier course three of the many Afrikaners, on a Celebrating Humanity© course, walked into the conference venue and made similar attacks on Arthie and the programme itself. This time it was in Afrikaans. They too never believed that we could understand and speak their language. Their embarrassment was very visible as the programme unfolded with both of us speaking English, Zulu and Afrikaans.
Numerous African people from our many language groups speak of the way certain English speaking South Africans “Shaya ‘ma angles.” (To speak indirectly and in a round about way.) It is an old English habit to lighten the criticism and talk around a challenge, so as not to hurt feelings. Often the hurt is greater because no-one besides the speaker understands the true message until much later.
Some people find it necessary to joke in sexual manner. Their jokes are often below the belt and cause great embarrassment to their colleagues and friends who do not discuss these matters outside of their bedrooms. Most African and Eastern groups do not appreciate such jokes. Others try to get their laughs by bringing down “groups” of people. By race, by colour, by language, by religion and even by hair colour.
The message here is all about respect.
When we isolate ourselves into our common groups and use our cleverness to “secretly” or “publicly” attack others, we damage our ability to develop good working relationships. When we try not “to hurt others feelings”, we often cause more pain than we would have by straight talk and without rancour. When we use our own “language” to communicate our jealousy or meanness towards those who communicate in other languages, we often isolate ourselves. When we joke in a manner that is sexual or which brings down other people, we bring ourselves, the listeners and our country down.
We live in a wonderful multi-lingual, multi-cultural and multi-spiritual land. All of our people have a right to respect and dignity. All of us have a duty to be respectful and dignified. One huge step of our journey, to a united land, will take place when begin to tell funny jokes that do not demean, or disrespect other people. And another gigantic step will take place when we talk straight, talk clearly and talk with respect.
Celebrating Humanity International
trainers@africa-dreams.com
24 April 2004
Celebrating Humanity diversity training, diversity management and team building imageRequest a Team Building quotation, Diversity Training quotation
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal-“Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead.

Brian V Moore Website

Diversity Training in South Africa

Africa Dreams Website – Celebrating Humanity International

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7 easy steps to remove workplace conflict in just 3 days!

How to remove workplace conflict, gossiping and backbiting in just 3 days; follow these 7 easy steps to workplace harmony, and your teams will manage their own challenges, allowing you to drastically improve production and the bottom line!

Teambuilding for Diverse teams, makes it easy to transform your team.
Are you a stressed-out Managing Director, Company Owner, Manager or Team Leader searching for a solution to interpersonal workplace conflict? Are you losing customers and money through:-

• Incessant Gossiping & Backbiting?
• Cross-cultural Clashes?
• Personality Conflicts?
• A lack of Professionalism and Accountability.

Create a safe stress-free work environment, in a team building programme, by:-

Step 1.) Build respect
Set the ground rules. Keep the rules simple. Get a clear understanding of the rules. Enforce the rules. Reward respect, pro-activity and support.

Step 2.) Build understanding and communication
Team members come from different cultures, traditions, histories, genders and ages – these unique differences have the power to unite them. Get them sharing that which maakes them special. Create an environment of communication.

Step 3.) Build Teamwork
Develop the understanding and experience of teamwork, through interactive and exciting team processes. Let your team members experience their individual value, AND the value of their team mates.

Step 4.) Develop skills
Teach them basic communication skills through understanding learning and communications styles. Show them how to change their communication style for better results. take them through a team-based personality test and show them how to work with each other, differently, positively and more powerfully!

Step 5.) Guide your team to create their own peer-managed code of conduct
Remove these stresses from your workplace by getting your now-willing team, to manage workplace conflict for you! Get your team to create a interpersonal code of behavior and values to manage their own behavior!

Step 6.) Clearing all past conflicts
Set-up individual face-to-face private clearings to put past challenges behind them. And get them to sign a commitment to their team, the code of conduct AND agree to never mention their past challenges.

Step 7.)Get the team to manage their own professionalism, accountability and behavior.
Set-up brief and regular monthly meetings, based in the Code of Conduct.

Your team will praise & honor each other, build understanding, give support, bring guidance. AND send the defaulters to normal company discipline! help!

Your team can and will mutually decide and agree on acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Their “team-managed and ongoing relationship management program” will protect you, your team and your company/ organization from wasting time, managing and stressing out on inter-personal and inter-diversity challenges.

Place the challenges of workplace diversity management firmly in the hands of your team/s and let them manage interpersonal interactions, on an ongoing basis!

Remember, it can only take 7 steps and 3 days, to develop respect and united teamwork, within YOUR team!

Our multi-skilled, multi-lingual and multi-diverse International and South African Teambuilding facilitators , have successfully facilitated team-building and corporate training programs since 1989. And we have offered our services in the USA, South Africa, Namibia and Zambia!

Our clients include Namdeb Diamond Mining Corporation (2500 delegates) and have saved tens of thousands of dollars, through creating safe, respectful working environments with their teams. You can too.

Brian V Moore

Request a Team Building quotation, Diversity Training quotation
or Team Conflict Resolution proposal-

“Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead.

Brian V Moore Website

Diversity Training in South Africa

Africa Dreams Website – Celebrating Humanity International

Celebrating Humanity Projects

Team Building in South Africa

Celebrating Humanity Blog

Celebrating Humanity on Facebook

Contact

Mobile: +27 (0)79 643 4457

Fax: +27 866 746 310

Celebrating Humanity diversity training, diversity management and team building image